You see a class you might enjoy. You think about contacting a friend. Someone invites you out.
Part of you wants to say yes. Then the doubts begin.
What if I don’t know anyone? What will I talk about? Perhaps I’ll leave it until next week.
In my work, I’ve met many people who want more connection but find that first step difficult. Sometimes their confidence has taken a knock. Sometimes they’re exhausted. Sometimes a previous hurt makes it harder to trust.
It helps to notice what is making you hesitate. Do you need rest? Would a smaller gathering suit you better? Would it help to arrive with someone you know?
Before deciding, give yourself a moment. Feel your feet on the floor. Let your breathing settle into a comfortable rhythm. Notice what you’re saying to yourself.
“I have to be interesting” is a lot of pressure to bring into a room. “I can listen and get to know one person” may feel more manageable.
Then make the first step small enough to take.
You could ask the class organiser what to expect. Send a friend a short message. Arrange a brief coffee rather than a whole evening out.
You can be a little nervous and still enjoy yourself. You can also choose a different activity if the first one doesn’t suit you.
The aim is to find company you feel comfortable with, at a pace that works for you.